Sometimes when I look at the current business world, I hold the opinion that you have to be an asshole, sociopath in order to succeed and sometimes even survive. Polite and kind and soft and nice are seen as a weakness.
The thing is, there is still such thing as doing business with integrity, respect and kindness. But society has things a little mixed up. Confidence often gets misplaced for aggression, and being direct often misjudged as being rude.
As women and highly emotionally charged beings, we can find it difficult to set aside the empathetic and nurturing and sometimes self-compromising qualities that are hardwired in our makeup. And unfortunately sometimes we are left open to be taken advantage of. So some of us take the all or nothing approach.
The decision to be the ‘hard bitch’ for business purposes. This means to hard wall most emotion and push forward with utmost confidence in every arising situation. Its a good strategy but not a fool-proof one. Often it leads to a personality that seems abrupt and jarring to others and leaving some feeling over intimidated. To rule with fear so to speak, does not allow for good employer/employee relationships and trust to develop.
The better approach is to be direct. Be as nice as pie, get along with the whole world, be social, approachable and direct. That means speak truth always (even when it could make you look bad), actively listen, and communicate on a level that everyone understands. Don’t leave things and in the grey so you can manipulate situations down the line. If you are good at what you do, act with integrity and confidence than you shouldn’t need to manipulate.
No matter what you do, you will rub some people the wrong way. Some people just don’t like honesty and truth. All you really need to do is make sure that when come home at night you can live with the person you are, and that when you wake up in the morning, you commit to doing the best that you can manage.
I believe that you can be strong without being agressive
I believe that you can be firm without being rude
I believe that you can be soft without being weak
And I believe that the right kind of ‘nice’ leads to success.