Marketing Shmarketing

social media


Seems to me like the modern day  business world runs on marketing (aside of money of course).

Today it doesn’t matter how good you or your product is, if it isn’t marketed properly, 95% of the time it will fail.  The idea that we have to ‘smoke screen’ everything really makes me feel a little torn.  As an artist, I want to keep a level of 100% integrity with my creations and what I’m pushing out to my fans.  I want to show real-life: the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, however everywhere around me I’m made to understand that things need to look a certain way in order to achieve a certain level of success.

Gosh! I absolutely hate doing the sales pitch for myself to others.  Not because I’m not confident about my talent and my products but simply because I have been brought up to be humble and modest.  “Ladies are supposed to be humble and modest”.  It has been in-grained in me since childhood.  But here I am trying to make it as an artists and I am being advised to throw shyness, modesty and humility out the window to a degree.

Lets look at Social Media, for example.  I have been interacting on Facebook for about 8 years or so now.  Just going about my way, posting interesting things that have happened in my day on a personal level and interacting with others as friends.  A little while ago, I had to adjust my thinking to be able to use social media as a business tool to generate a following for myself — because, well, that’s what you do now!  So up came all my fan pages and business pages and events etc…  Now all of a sudden, before I posted something, I had to think about my objective for posting, did the status or image portray the right kind of look for me?  Is it the right filter? Is it consistent with the image of myself that I’m trying to portray?  How much (organic) reach am I getting? how many likes, views, comments, follows….?  It’s almost a full time job!  But is this really the key to success?  Does your following online as a personality really measure your worth in the business world and real world?  What happens to those of us who don’t want to ‘smoke screen’ and ‘butter up’ the fans with illusions of the perfect life?

It’s a little frustrating that when I’m putting myself forward for a gig or contract opportunity, I get asked how many follows on Instagram I have.  It’s not like those people are going to get on a plane and come out to see my private hotel gig?  But alas, it is the way it is at the moment.  So I’ve taken the time to educate myself a little more about marketing and social media marketing…. its all a bit of wank really, sometimes I think about social media like the popular and unpopular group of high school.  It’s upsetting to see people who get further in life just based on good marketing abilities and being able to trick people into thinking that they are something they’re not.  And on the other side of that, enormously talented individuals who are denied opportunity because they do not fit the mould or do not look the part.  Are we really that blinded by ‘shiny things’ that we dismiss talent for beauty and fake people?

All I can really do is continue my marketing venture, keep collecting real people, sell myself well and when it comes to delivering the goods – nail it.  For when the smoke clears you got to have the skills to keep yourself on that pedestal 🙂




Is it hormonal?


As I get older, I find myself a lot more emotional and reactionary than before.  I’ve been putting it down to a lot more hormones running through my body since having kids and going through body changes associated with pregnancy, breastfeeding and being a mum.

Then I got to thinking? Is it really the hormones?  At 35 years old, I cry more, I’m angry more and my moods change swiftly.  They say that we go through a body shift and emotional shift every 7 years of our lives.  And I really believe that, because I can see the change that I made at around 28 and the person that I have become today because of it.  Today I’m officially grown, physically, mentally and emotionally, and I’m grateful for that.

Today I experience real feelings, real interactions with people and can understand and acknowledge (most) my emotions.  I cry more because I allow myself the emotional release, because I am open to love and being loved (and therefore being hurt).  I cry more because I don’t feel like it makes me less of a person or weak.  I’m angry more because I set expectations and hold people accountable for their actions, and hold myself accountable for mine.  I’m angry more because I can see the world without the rosy coloured glasses of my teen and twenty years.  I’m angry more because it inspires me to change my situation more than any other emotion.

It is important to feel the world around us just as it is important to see it.  Having a high emotional IQ brings better interaction with people and stops the world from being apathetic.  Apathy is what is stopping the world from making a positive change.  Seeing all the bad things that happen around you and then pretending not to care or ignoring it because ‘its too negative’ will never be the answer to fixing it.  If you want to change your world, start with your personal interactions.  Acknowledge and deal with your own emotions.  And stop sweeping things under the rug.

And when you are asked if ‘it’s’ hormonal, the answer is: it may be.  But not always.

Do the nice ones always finish last?

Sometimes when I look at the current business world, I hold the opinion that you have to be an asshole, sociopath in order to succeed and sometimes even survive.  Polite and kind and soft and nice are seen as a weakness.

The thing is, there is still such thing as doing business with integrity, respect and kindness.  But society has things a little mixed up.  Confidence often gets misplaced for aggression, and being direct often misjudged as being rude.

As women and highly emotionally charged beings, we can find it difficult to set aside the empathetic and nurturing and sometimes self-compromising qualities that are hardwired in our makeup.  And unfortunately sometimes we are left open to be taken advantage of.   So some of us take the all or nothing approach.

The decision to be the ‘hard bitch’ for business purposes.  This means to hard wall most emotion and push forward with utmost confidence in every arising situation.  Its a good strategy but not a fool-proof one.  Often it leads to a personality that seems abrupt and jarring to others and leaving some feeling over intimidated.  To rule with fear so to speak, does not allow for good employer/employee relationships and trust to develop.

The better approach is to be direct. Be as nice as pie, get along with the whole world, be social, approachable and direct. That means speak truth always (even when it could make you look bad), actively listen, and communicate on a level that everyone understands. Don’t leave things and in the grey so you can manipulate situations down the line. If you are good at what you do, act with integrity and confidence than you shouldn’t need to manipulate.

No matter what you do, you will rub some people the wrong way. Some people just don’t like honesty and truth. All you really need to do is make sure that when come home at night you can live with the person you are, and that when you wake up in the morning, you commit to doing the best that you can manage.

I believe that you can be strong without being agressive

I believe that you can be firm without being rude

I believe that you can be soft without being weak

And I believe that the right kind of ‘nice’ leads to success.

Mad hustle, Dope Soul



Let’s Talk About Feminism

Before I go on with my women-themed blog. I just want to set the record straight.

Though I support women’s equal rights, can see the issues that women struggle with in society and promote the betterment and evolution of women, I do not identify myself as a Feminist.

I say this because I believe that some extreme feminists and feminist ideas, cross the line over to ‘man-hating’ territory.

You do not need to be anti-men to be pro-women.

I believe in equal rights for men and women but I also see and recognise the obvious difference between the 2 genders.  Women seek equality.  Equality does not mean that we should emasculate our men so that we can have the upper hand.  This is where the problem arose in the first place, one gender was conditioned to be of lesser value.  To move into true equality, we must first wipe the slate clean and create a level playing field.  (This is also how I feel about Racism, but that is another conversation altogether).

I believe that some extreme feminists unintentionally hold women back, which is the very opposite of what that seek out to do.  For example, As a woman I should have the choice to maintain a successful and healthy career even after having children, but if I want to stay at home and dedicate my time to being a mother, this should not be frowned upon.  Even if kids were not involved, If I, as a woman, want to marry and be a ‘kept’ woman (having my husband take care of me financially) then I should have the right to do so and it shouldn’t reflect on my husband as being oppressive or dominant nor should I being judged for making the choice.  So long as there is a choice…we are all good.

The biggest adversary to women is other women.  If we all stopped judging and competing with  each other and supported and respected one another, our worlds would be volumes better.  Women have set the standard for women for a long time now, cause frankly, men don’t really care about controlling & oppressing us anymore.  They are too busy trying to understand us and their place in a world that is ever-changing and slowly becoming ours.

The time has come for us to address the root of the issue of why women still feel second rate to men.  It lies within our perception of self-worth & confidence, our upbringing and social conditioning,  and our inability to band together and support each other and rise each other up.  Education is key and we must spend more time learning, understanding rather than shaming and blaming.



squad quote

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